Milestone Birthdays

In a couple of weeks my son will be eighteen.
This doesn't sound like such a big thing, really but....but....this is my BABY.... it was a sentimental thing when my daughter turned eighteen (almost five years ago) but I still had one underage, so the kidswere just split fifty-fifty. Now both my children, ALL my children, are going to be "adults" Nothing will change in our house from one day to the next- he still has his senior year in high school ahead, she still has her senior year in college- and no one's planning on moving out till next summer.
So why does this seem like the end of an era?
I remember that first birthday, when you couldn't believe your baby was one! And then two...and then three....and then the years ticked away faster than you ever thought possible. "Oh, they grow up too fast." the Old Ones would say wisely, nodding their heads. And you, the exhausted young mom, didn't really believe that would happen.
Then one day you turned around and looked at the calendar and realized.....it did.
People always warn you about What's In Store with kids. Usually this is in a negative vein and bothered me. First it was, "Wait till you find out what it's like to have a newborn!" "Oh my God, you are going to have a two year old! They're awful!" and then the death sentence voice, "Oh no.,...your kids are going to be TEENAGERS!"
Well, I've always found them wrong. Pretty much. My babies were wonderful. My toddlers were sweet. Toilet training, well, that was rough-with one of them. Teaching them to drive, also tough- with one of them. Teenagers? Great kids. I'm the proudest mom in the world of my kids. They may not be perfect in EVERY way (although I find them so) but they are so good, kind, loving, funny, and sweet. I never wanted to miss a minute with them and I've enjoyed being a Mom more than anything in the world.
The only part they don't tell you about is how hard it is to let them go....
Maybe because you wouldn't believe it.
Maybe because it's too hard.

I know we will always be close, and there are plenty of good times ahead to come- weddings, grandchildren, special family times. But when they go out on their own, things change. I know because I've been through it with my parents. "Home" is where your spouse is, not your parents. "Home" is where your children are, not your parents. And although your parents are beloved, and so important, you take them for granted until they're gone, because your focus is where it should be- on your own family.
So how do you deal with being relagated to the sidelines? I guess it's up to me.
I think I'll decide to enjoy cheering them on.
I think I'll try to be the kind of Mom that even grown up kids WANT to come see, not just feel guilty because they haven't seen.
I think I'll thank the Lord every day that I have them on this earth with me, that I can talk to them, that I can still get and give hugs.
I think I'll wish a whole lot that my mother was still alive, so I could tell her how hard it is. She would understand. (or maybe she wouldn't, she could never get all her kids out of the house!)
Meanwhile, I'm thinking of a sweet little towheaded Mama's boy who loved to cuddle, snuggle, and "go bye-bye" who is now a dark-haired, handsome, funny and sweet young man- that still loves to "go bye-bye" only now when he goes out, it isn't with Mama.
I love you Nicholas. You have been, as the Lord told me you would be, a son who would bring me only joy, all my life.