Actual Reasons people have called an ambulance to bring them to the ER
1. nasal congestion (no, I'm not kidding)
2. constipation (wanting a nurse to give him an enema)
3. scabies
I'm starting to understand why ER nurses get a little baffled about Humanity in General. Then again, we see the real winners, shall we say. The above are all actual cases; not mentioned are the people having chest pain, shortness of breath, and spells of passing out, who do NOT call an ambulance but have their loved one drive them to the ER, where we will have to drag their dead carcass out of the back seat. Whazzup with that??
Here are some rules for being a good ER patient. You may not want to be one, but if you are, you'll get better pain medicine and your nurse will love you.
1) Do not, do not, please do not, ask the nurse nine thousand times, "How much longer will it be?" I really honestly have no idea. I do not want to make false promises. You may be up to be seen next, and twelve train wrecks will come in through the door and guess what? Three more hours. I do not know how long it will take the labs to come back. I don't work there. I do not know how long it will take radiology to come and get you. I don't work there either. I have no idea how many films they have to shoot in other parts of the hospital, or how many stats they are doing. Just don't begin any sentence with, "How much longer....." and you'll be fine. I promise you, if I knew I'd tell you, but I don't.
2) Please remember an emergency room is for, well, emergencies. If you are not an emergency, you are gonna wait. You are going to wait a long time. The reason you are waiting a long time is because other, actual emergencies will be coming in and out, and they will get seen first, no matter how long you've been standing outside your room with your arms folded glaring at the nurses. Bring a book, stretch out and close your eyes, or do whatever you need to do, but plan to wait and wait and wait some more. There are not enough staff to handle the patient load; especially now that a great deal more patients are being seen who want some more Vicodin. Remember- the nurse is not the enemy. She wants you to go home, too. Especially if you are hostile. However, it won't get you out any quicker.
3) Do not threaten the nurse with statements such as, "I'm leaving in five minutes." First of all, ER nurses do not scare easily. Secondly, if you choose to leave of your own free will, you are quite able to do so. The ER is not a jail. My life will probably go on if you choose to leave in five minutes, so please do not present it as if I am going to cling to your arm, sobbing, and beg you to stay. The usual response is, "Okay, in five minutes I'll bring your paper to sign out." This is not because the nurse is hateful. It is because this is an emergency room, and you are not an emergency (or you would be being taken care of at that very moment)
4) If the nurse smiles and is friendly to you, try to smile back. It's just polite. Obviously if you're in excruciating pain, nobody expects this. If the nurse has time to do something extra such as bring you or your loved one a cup of coffee, extra blankets, magazines, etc., thank him/her. We are very busy and it really does take time to do these things.
5) On the subject of the above: The nurse is not a waitress. She is not there to provide hubby (who is not a patient) with a Sprite (in a cup with a lid and ice, please) and the four-year-old (who is not the patient, and should be at home with hubby) toys and entertainment. The ER nurse is responsible for providing medical care to the ill. Again, this will happen very quickly if you have an ACTUAL emergency; it will not happen quickly (unless you luck out and come when it's a little slower) if you have had that pain in your foot for two weeks. This does not mean that we do not want to help you. It just means it isn't as urgent to us as the guy having a heart attack, the lady bleeding out of her bowels at an alarming rate, or the suicidal teenager who is trying to beat everyone up.
6) Be pleasant to the doctor. Do not tell him what drug to give you. He will never, ever give you that drug if you ask for it specifically, especially if you already know the generic name and dosage and it's a painkiller. Why? We don't like to feed people's addictions, because this does not help anyone, and we're supposed to be helping and not hurting. Also, please do not think I am cynical if you tell me you are dying of the worst pain in your life, yet sit giggling on your cellphone and putting on lipstick. At least try and put on a little bit of an act. Which, by the way, does not include loudly moaning when the nurse is in the room, and immediately ceasing to moan when she walks out of the room. At least wait till I'm down the hall.
7) Call the doctor "Sir" or "ma'm" or "doctor" They have big egos and like respect. Do not call them "dickhead" "asswipe" or "you stupid idiot" You will not get any pain prescriptions that way, and we will remember you next time you show up. If you're really ill, you'll be treated like everyone else. If you are NOT really ill, you will sit in the waiting room until your ass becomes one with the chair.
8) If you've been waiting forever and you see all the nurses at the desk sitting around, this does not mean no one is doing anything. It means we are waiting for results to come back, or (usually) waiting for the doctor to decide to go see you or what is going to be done with you. Once we have done the nursing orders, we cannot expedite things any further.
9) And finally- please remember nurses cannot legally prescribe medicine. Please do not ask me, "Can you get her something for pain?" I cannot order anything for pain; I can only administer what the physician orders. If I think someone is really in pain (see cellphone chatting and putting on lipstick) I will find a doctor, interrupt him whether it aggravates him or not, and fight to get my patient some pain medicine. If I also have three patients who are critically ill, you may have to be in pain awhile. I don't like this, because I've been there myself, but if the critically ill patients were your family members, you would understand and agree.
On a happier side, here are some nice things you may not know about ER nurses:
1) We do NOT think you're stupid if you come in because you have chest pain, and it turns out to be heartburn. Not at all. We worry you may not come back next time when you really are having a heart attack. We're glad it turned out to not be serious. We know chest pain is an important reason to come to the ER.
2) We do not think you are a baby if you are afraid of needles. However, if you hit the nurse who is attempting to start the IV, this will change.
3) We really don't want our patients to be uncomfortable or in pain. We will do what we can do take care of your pain and find you a pillow or that blanket, if time is permitting. There are many times when you actually do not sit down or go to the bathroom for twelve hours, but you may take five minutes to get a few things for your patient.
4) If you or your loved one is critically ill, we worry about you after you aregone. We hope you are okay, and try to find out how things turned out. If we hear it turned out badly, we are bummed out, especially the primary nurse that cared for you.
5) When young people die, ER nurses cry. Always.
Maybe this will help us all understand each other better. And if you have a really good experience in the ER, the best thing you can do to reward your nurse or physician is write a letter to the CEO of the hospital. I got one of these today and it more than made my day!! Knowing you made a positive difference for someone is what keeps you going on those long nights when it seems every patient wishes to a)hit you b)vomit on you c)snarl at you- and the floor nurses aren't happy with you either (because you keep bringing them patients)
Good luck if you are a patient in the scary world of the ER! I hope you are treated well. Please do your part.
2. constipation (wanting a nurse to give him an enema)
3. scabies
I'm starting to understand why ER nurses get a little baffled about Humanity in General. Then again, we see the real winners, shall we say. The above are all actual cases; not mentioned are the people having chest pain, shortness of breath, and spells of passing out, who do NOT call an ambulance but have their loved one drive them to the ER, where we will have to drag their dead carcass out of the back seat. Whazzup with that??
Here are some rules for being a good ER patient. You may not want to be one, but if you are, you'll get better pain medicine and your nurse will love you.
1) Do not, do not, please do not, ask the nurse nine thousand times, "How much longer will it be?" I really honestly have no idea. I do not want to make false promises. You may be up to be seen next, and twelve train wrecks will come in through the door and guess what? Three more hours. I do not know how long it will take the labs to come back. I don't work there. I do not know how long it will take radiology to come and get you. I don't work there either. I have no idea how many films they have to shoot in other parts of the hospital, or how many stats they are doing. Just don't begin any sentence with, "How much longer....." and you'll be fine. I promise you, if I knew I'd tell you, but I don't.
2) Please remember an emergency room is for, well, emergencies. If you are not an emergency, you are gonna wait. You are going to wait a long time. The reason you are waiting a long time is because other, actual emergencies will be coming in and out, and they will get seen first, no matter how long you've been standing outside your room with your arms folded glaring at the nurses. Bring a book, stretch out and close your eyes, or do whatever you need to do, but plan to wait and wait and wait some more. There are not enough staff to handle the patient load; especially now that a great deal more patients are being seen who want some more Vicodin. Remember- the nurse is not the enemy. She wants you to go home, too. Especially if you are hostile. However, it won't get you out any quicker.
3) Do not threaten the nurse with statements such as, "I'm leaving in five minutes." First of all, ER nurses do not scare easily. Secondly, if you choose to leave of your own free will, you are quite able to do so. The ER is not a jail. My life will probably go on if you choose to leave in five minutes, so please do not present it as if I am going to cling to your arm, sobbing, and beg you to stay. The usual response is, "Okay, in five minutes I'll bring your paper to sign out." This is not because the nurse is hateful. It is because this is an emergency room, and you are not an emergency (or you would be being taken care of at that very moment)
4) If the nurse smiles and is friendly to you, try to smile back. It's just polite. Obviously if you're in excruciating pain, nobody expects this. If the nurse has time to do something extra such as bring you or your loved one a cup of coffee, extra blankets, magazines, etc., thank him/her. We are very busy and it really does take time to do these things.
5) On the subject of the above: The nurse is not a waitress. She is not there to provide hubby (who is not a patient) with a Sprite (in a cup with a lid and ice, please) and the four-year-old (who is not the patient, and should be at home with hubby) toys and entertainment. The ER nurse is responsible for providing medical care to the ill. Again, this will happen very quickly if you have an ACTUAL emergency; it will not happen quickly (unless you luck out and come when it's a little slower) if you have had that pain in your foot for two weeks. This does not mean that we do not want to help you. It just means it isn't as urgent to us as the guy having a heart attack, the lady bleeding out of her bowels at an alarming rate, or the suicidal teenager who is trying to beat everyone up.
6) Be pleasant to the doctor. Do not tell him what drug to give you. He will never, ever give you that drug if you ask for it specifically, especially if you already know the generic name and dosage and it's a painkiller. Why? We don't like to feed people's addictions, because this does not help anyone, and we're supposed to be helping and not hurting. Also, please do not think I am cynical if you tell me you are dying of the worst pain in your life, yet sit giggling on your cellphone and putting on lipstick. At least try and put on a little bit of an act. Which, by the way, does not include loudly moaning when the nurse is in the room, and immediately ceasing to moan when she walks out of the room. At least wait till I'm down the hall.
7) Call the doctor "Sir" or "ma'm" or "doctor" They have big egos and like respect. Do not call them "dickhead" "asswipe" or "you stupid idiot" You will not get any pain prescriptions that way, and we will remember you next time you show up. If you're really ill, you'll be treated like everyone else. If you are NOT really ill, you will sit in the waiting room until your ass becomes one with the chair.
8) If you've been waiting forever and you see all the nurses at the desk sitting around, this does not mean no one is doing anything. It means we are waiting for results to come back, or (usually) waiting for the doctor to decide to go see you or what is going to be done with you. Once we have done the nursing orders, we cannot expedite things any further.
9) And finally- please remember nurses cannot legally prescribe medicine. Please do not ask me, "Can you get her something for pain?" I cannot order anything for pain; I can only administer what the physician orders. If I think someone is really in pain (see cellphone chatting and putting on lipstick) I will find a doctor, interrupt him whether it aggravates him or not, and fight to get my patient some pain medicine. If I also have three patients who are critically ill, you may have to be in pain awhile. I don't like this, because I've been there myself, but if the critically ill patients were your family members, you would understand and agree.
On a happier side, here are some nice things you may not know about ER nurses:
1) We do NOT think you're stupid if you come in because you have chest pain, and it turns out to be heartburn. Not at all. We worry you may not come back next time when you really are having a heart attack. We're glad it turned out to not be serious. We know chest pain is an important reason to come to the ER.
2) We do not think you are a baby if you are afraid of needles. However, if you hit the nurse who is attempting to start the IV, this will change.
3) We really don't want our patients to be uncomfortable or in pain. We will do what we can do take care of your pain and find you a pillow or that blanket, if time is permitting. There are many times when you actually do not sit down or go to the bathroom for twelve hours, but you may take five minutes to get a few things for your patient.
4) If you or your loved one is critically ill, we worry about you after you aregone. We hope you are okay, and try to find out how things turned out. If we hear it turned out badly, we are bummed out, especially the primary nurse that cared for you.
5) When young people die, ER nurses cry. Always.
Maybe this will help us all understand each other better. And if you have a really good experience in the ER, the best thing you can do to reward your nurse or physician is write a letter to the CEO of the hospital. I got one of these today and it more than made my day!! Knowing you made a positive difference for someone is what keeps you going on those long nights when it seems every patient wishes to a)hit you b)vomit on you c)snarl at you- and the floor nurses aren't happy with you either (because you keep bringing them patients)
Good luck if you are a patient in the scary world of the ER! I hope you are treated well. Please do your part.
Labels: emergency room
posted by cherigrace | 10:41 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home